Angel of Mercy.

Today, I wrote about you. I hate how sometimes it hits me just how much I need you. How much I miss you. I really should pick up the phone and call, but I'm too stubborn to even BEGIN to talk to my father about the last time we talked. Your face still remains in my dreams. I can still hear your voice. Your laughter replaces the other kids', and I tear up just thinking about you. You really have no idea how much you've impacted my life. I don't think you ever will. One day I'm just going to drive and come get you. No matter the distance. You're number one right now kid. I'd trade anything just for a day with you. Anything. I pinch myself to keep the tears back. To remind myself I can do this, that I'm stronger than I realize. That one day this will change. One day I'll be able to spread my arms wide and swing you around. One day we can go on our hikes through the backyard. One day I'll take you mowing again. Right when the sun sets. The best time. And while we're using mowing for a lame excuse to "drive", we'll sing. Like we always do. We'll sing Big Girls Don't Cry. I can't listen to that song anymore. I hear it weekly in English, and I have to tune it out. If I don't I'll get lost in my memories.. I just want to say I love you. With all I have. And if you ever need a place to stay, I'm here. Forever.