I miss you.

Everyday. "Time heals everything". BS. I feel the same way I did the day you were ripped away from me. The day when my world crashed down. To suffocate me. To tear me apart. I think about you all the time. There isn't a moment when I'm not. I'm watching the videos of us over & over, wishing it would go away. Except for it's not. It's not going away. You're still 600 miles away from me. I miss you Daniel. I dream about you all the time. I hear your voice in my head. That's all I hear these days. Is you. And I see your face. And it kills me. The fact that I have no idea when I'll see you next. It's been over a year since I saw you last. You, playing with me on the swinging chair. Not knowing what's going to happen next. Laying down, hugging me. You hugging me, not wanting to let go. Me not wanting you to let go. Me not wanting you to go.. "Emily's in the back room mom, can she come with us? Can we bring her with us? Why can't we? I want her to come mom. I want her to stay with me. Can she stay with me?" You, crying my name. You running to come get me, to beg me to stay with you. And her taking you. Taking you back to that house. Away from me. The one thing I love with all my heart in this world, is you. I love speaking to you on the phone, though it kills me a little more inside when I do. I fight back the tears and keep my voice strong so you won't know I'm broken. Shattered. I hated when you would cry while we were talking, because I couldn't do anything to comfort you. I couldn't protect you from whatever was wrong. I remember singing you to sleep on those summer nights. You asking me to. Asking me to tickle your back. Asking me to watch one more episode of Power Rangers. Just one. You'd always say that. And after it ended you'd ask if we could watch another one. Just one. And I'd give in. Those days, were the best days of my life. What I would give to have some more. Dear Lord, for all that's good, please give me some more.